Anger management: Keeping it in check

Anger Management a common sense approach to this modern day phenomenon.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” ― Buddha

Work-life balance has become more difficult to achieve as compared to before and this is a major contributory cause to the build-up of anger. Getting cut in traffic, multitasking on the job and your child’s refusal to cooperate are a few instances which could send your blood pressure shooting up.

Anger is a normal emotion and even healthy if not experienced and expressed often. If it becomes a regular occurrence, it gives rise to chronic distress, depression and violent behaviors. Repeated anger outburst are harmful and hamper your mental health, professional life as well as your relationships.

However, channelizing your stress into more positive thoughts and activities can help in controlling the inner rage. Here’s a few tips you can follow to prevent yourself from becoming the raging Hulk:

Engage in some sort of physical activity

It is believed that if you move away from the event which is causing the emotion and channelize it into something more constructive like a physical activity, your body releases happy hormones which help you focus on the more positive things. So, the next time you feel your temper rising, go for a run or a brisk walk.

Take timeouts

Timeouts are like short recesses you take during the day to take your mind off stressful activities. A few moments of silence and introspection can help you deal with events which are irritating or stressful in a more excellent way.

Making use of relaxation techniques

The following relaxation techniques can prove to be very useful in soothing nerves and taking your mind off angry emotions:

a. Focused, deep breathing: Taking short breath implies that you are still fuming. Instead, shift your focus on taking long breaths from your stomach which will help you relax your nerves.

b. Visualise: Force your mind to transport itself back to an imagery of an event which was happy and positive to take the load off.
c. Muscle relaxation: A progressive muscle relaxation technique can help you slowly release tension from every part of your body. Start from your toes and work upwards.

Express your anger after you’ve calmed down

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
― Ambrose Bierce

If you try and solve an issue or a problem when you’re at the peak of your emotion, you will end up saying things which have the power to hurt the other person. To prevent relationships from going bitter, give yourself some time off to calm down and speak only when you think you can have a productive, healthy conversation.

Identify your triggers and take measures to prevent them

Most people have a pattern of events or items which lead to angry triggers. You need to consciously think and identify what triggers this negative emotion in you. For instance, if you get into a fight with your family every night on the dinner table, avoid bringing up topics which are controversial or may cause a fight. For some, colours, presence of certain people or even a few products might be anger triggers.

Own your anger

This tactic is more of a defense mechanism than a management one but can prove to be useful in calming momentary anger. Pretend to not be angry in a workplace setting to avoid confrontations and major showdowns which could prove to be detrimental in the future. While trying to make others believe that you aren’t angry, your anger actually subsides.
You can let the other person know that you’re upset or unhappy, but do not vent in an unhealthy manner.

Move on

A lot of people have a bad habit of dwelling over an incident which harmed or saddened them in the past. Thinking of such negative events especially when you have sorted them out is unproductive. Let go of the thought and focus on doing something else to avoid anger triggers.

It is okay to seek help

There is no shame in admitting the existence of a problem that you aren’t able to solve. Anger is a real issue and if the emotion isn’t something you’re able to keep in check, you must seek help from a shrink or join therapy classes. This will enhance your wellbeing and teach you how to convert your negative emotion into positive ones in a correct manner.

Ask yourself a few simple questions… is my anger worth it? Is the person more important? Is this the person I want to be?
Answering these simple questions will help you keep your anger in check. All you need to do to get into a positive frame of mind is make some simple and small alterations in your life to protect your peace and happiness.

  • Written byNiharika Nandi

    Niharika Nandi is a media trainee who loves exploring the fields of photography and baking simultaneously. She’s a self-proclaimed professional bathroom singer and believes that caffeine runs through her veins. This adrenaline junkie loves to pen down a million thoughts gushing through her mind at any instant and is very vocal about LGBTQ rights.


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